VIEWPOINTS

Editor offers Advice on Love, School, Food
Camron Rushin | Editor-In-Chief

I picked up the latest issue of Seventeen and was outraged at the terrible advice they were giving teens. I though t I’d give my advice column career another shot. Here goes:
Q. I've been feeling like one of my teachers has been hitting on me. He is attractive, and technically he isn't my teacher--I had him last year. But he keeps hinting around that maybe we should get together sometime and go out. Would it be wrong of me if I did?
A. What is up with all these teachers having sex with students? If I were 14 and Debra Lafave (look her up on Google) wanted to break me into manhood I don’t think I would complain. Having her as a teacher is every 14-year-old’s dream. All my teachers in junior high were old, wrinkly bags. Hooking up with Lafave was probably the best thing that was ever going to happen to this kid and people are ruining it for him. So, to answer your question,  go ahead, you’ll be 18 soon enough.
Q. I just can't take it anymore! School, hours of homework, projects, papers, my Chinese homework, parents and friends--it's all just so overwhelming. I've stopped doing my homework when I should be working the hardest, since junior year is the most important for college. How do I learn to deal with this?
A. Wow, you take Chinese? You must be really smart. Anyways, they fill you with a lot of bull in high school about how hard college is. It was probably difficult for our teachers because they were learning more important things in college, like how to coach football.  So, if you’re brave enough to even attempt Chinese, I think you’ll be OK in college if you give up on high school right now. 
Q. My parents are divorced, and I don't know what to do or say when my mom trashes my dad right in front of me.
A. What you need to do is make your parents feel guilty about getting divorced and ruining your life. The worse you make them feel, the more stuff they’re going to give you to try to buy back your love. Next thing you know, you’ll have a pony and a Ferrari. Don’t worry about what your parents say about one another. If one of them is way richer than the other, I would always side with the one who has the money.
Q. I have a problem with food ... a big problem. I used to eat healthy to the max, but now I binge all day long, eating when I'm not hungry. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I eat until it feels like I am going to puke! What can I do?
A. Apparently you’re a boring person with no friends and with nothing better to do than stuff your face all day. If you’re already self-aware of the problem why can’t you just stop? Think of other things to do besides eating. You could take up smoking or self-mutilation, for instance.
Q. A little over a month ago, my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me. I am nowhere near being over him. The problem is that we agreed to be friends with benefits and I wasn't sure about the whole thing to begin with, but now I'm really hurting. Every time he talks about another girl, I feel as if I'm holding onto a string that's not there anymore. What should I do?
A. Isn’t friends with benefits the same as dating? Just think about it for a second. The person you’re dating is hopefully one of your closest friends and there are the benefits of getting it on and whatnot , which you cannot do your regular friends. If you’re looking for some kind of emotional attachment I’d recommend getting out of there. Any guy who suggests being friends with benefits just thinks he’s a player.
Q. My roommates are really starting to get to me. One of them is an early riser, waking up two hours before classes start; the other is a night owl, and doesn't go to bed until at least midnight each night. When I'm still sleeping they make noises like I'm awake or not there. I don't want to be rude to them, but I am so tired. Help!
A. Are you serious? You are a whiny, little baby. Those don’t even sound like problems to me. I once had a roommate who puked on the living room floor and didn’t clean it up for a day. I had another one who would leave butt shavings on the toilet seat so I’d have to clean if every time I used it. Don’t you even begin complaining to me until you’ve got some real roommate problems like they’re eating all your food or trying to learn how to play the saxophone at 4a.m.
Q. I feel uncomfortable messing around with guys unless I'm drunk, so I drink a lot when I'm with guys because I like doing stuff with them. Is there any way I can make myself more comfortable so I don't have to drink in order to fool around?
A. Apparently you’re an alcoholic and you’re making a good excuse to drink. You’re trying to use reverse-psychology on me. I suggest going to some AA meetings.  Either this or try to hook up with hotter guys. I understand that it’s good to be a little drunk when hooking up with some ugly folks because then you have a good excuse.  Or perhaps, you’re the ugly one and the guys have to be drunk and they just get you drunk in the process.  
Q.  I'm 17, with an early curfew. I get grounded for anything I do wrong, yet when my brother was my age, curfew was not an issue and being grounded didn't happen. Tell me why this is happening to me.
A. Because your father doesn’t want anything terrible to happen to his little girl. You probably have very skanky potential and you remind him of how wild your mother was at that age. He doesn’t want his little princess being someone else’s little whore. Your brother was probably a dork like he was, so he doesn’t have to worry about him causing trouble playing video games at his friend’s house.


Words of Love Should be said with Meaning
Jason Kimbro | Staff Reporter

I think I tell my girlfriend that I love her way too much, but ya know what?  I cannot help it.
If I see her sitting in that same spot in the library, all I want to do is express to her how much I adore and love her. 
If she is hard at work and I am stopping by to say hello after purchasing a bag of crickets for my chim chim cheroo, every cell in my body is wanting to run to her, give her a big hug and kiss, and proclaim that I love her.
This can be dangerous, though.  The intensity to which those three little words are supposed to carry with them could diminish and eventually mean nothing to her.  At least that is what I used to think.
I have had many relationships and I have been in love several times before.  Even now, my friends pick on me and talk about how hard it is to keep up with who I may be with now.
This may have been true in the past, but that is because I haven’t found the right puzzle piece (I apologize to the female half of our species for referring to you all as puzzle pieces).
The girl I have now has passed the month and a half limit that most of my relationships seem to be doomed to crumble upon.  She fits me perfectly and she truly, madly, deeply (This week’s random movie association), loves me.  This one is definitely a keeper.
This brings me back to the ideal that if you say “I love you” too much; it will lose its intensity.  Well, all I can say that if it loses its concentration over a period of time, then it isn’t real love.
And finally we reach the real beef of this column:  People who say things that they really should not have said in the first place.
Do not tell me that you are praying for me when you aren’t!  I know people who say such things then are off on their search for scratch at the nearest Graham Central Station.
Not to be the judger, but this is blasphemous and I will not stand for it!  Jesus and I will be sure to have you sent straight to hell! 
I am kidding of course, which brings us to my next complaint:  Don’t say you were kidding around when you were not actually kidding around.
There are monsters out there that will suck out your brains and then regurgitate them to their young so they can become smart and go to college and take over the world.  The preceding statement was an obvious joke or nudge to the side.
But to seriously say something that you truly mean to say, then to go back and proclaim it as a joke because you cannot handle the fact that you just hurt your Chihuahua’s feelings, well, that’s just plain silly.
Mother Theresa was a wise old woman.  She would never do such a thing.  More than likely she would keep it to herself.
This is what most people need to do.  There are far too many, for a lack of a better word, assholes out there who think it is better to just “speak your mind” even when it is unnecessary, no matter whom it may hurt.
It wasn’t necessary for Jimbo to tell Francis that his face looked like a bowl of French onion dip.  He felt that he wasn’t in the wrong for hurting poor Francis’ feelings.  Francis then killed himself the next day.  Jimbo felt proud.
It is the Jimbos of the world that really make the ghost of Mother Theresa cry.
And finally, I go in full circle, back to the starting point of this column, people who say “I Love You” and do not really mean it.
You’re either infatuated, a teenager, horny, stupid, or a combination of them all and you just need to grow up or get over it, you’re not going to get any! 
If those three wonderful words have lost its intensity, then it is from my own experience that I have learned that:
1.You didn’t mean it when you said it to begin with, or
2.The feeling isn’t reciprocated and you just need to dump the broad/jock.
One of my favorite romantic comedies is the British love romp, “Love Actually.”  In this film, Hugh Grant, with his wonderfully forgotten past, says that love actually is all around, and then we get to hear Bill Nighy sing.
The point is, there is plenty of love out there and love does exist.  People proclaim that you get the same feelings from eating chocolate that you do from love.   This is a bad argument, for the same can be said about breathing oxygen and breathing carbon monoxide.
People need to stop saying things they do not mean.  It is this that mothers the denial of wonderful things like love and jest.  Yes, jest.
So be true to one another.  Don’t tell someone you love them if you really do not mean it.  It hurts a lot later down the road, trust me, I know.
But if you truly do love each other, then tell each other as often as you can.  The words of true love will always be precious and shall endure till the end of time and beyond.
And now that I have choked you all with sentiment, let me take it back down to my normal degree of low-brow expressions:  poop, pee, and of course, my favorite, baboon butt drivel.
Thank you and have a pleasant week!


Staff Editorial: More student Input needed in Projects

Today is the day the student body begins voting on the approval of the proposed Student Wellness and Recreation Center.
Of the many new amenities included in the shiny new Wellness Center, there’s only a few facilities a majority of students may use; namely, the medical facilities, the elevated walking track, pool, and hot tub.
Unfortunately, students will be able to comfortably use the pool and hot tub for only a few months out of the year before the elements scare them away, since both water facilities are to be located outdoors.
Why does our campus require “multiple new basketball courts” both indoors and out? We have not heard an overwhelming clamor among students for additional basketball venues.
Another proposed addition is a “state-of-the-art weight and cardiovascular facility.” Our campus already has two fully equipped weight rooms. Again, there has not been widespread request for a new weight-lifting area.
We here at The Wichitan believe students should have more say in what is included in the STUDENT Wellness and Recreation Center. If it’s for us, it should be designed by us.
The student masses should determine what facilities are included in the proposed new center.
Otherwise, the Student Government Association will be passing a referendum, essentially, without students’ input, just as the federal government distracts the people with a shiny new toy and before they know it, the people have approved a bill/law/ruling that they didn’t even read.


Radicals Control Universities
Wayne Schields | For the Wichitan

“Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals could believe them.”---George Orwell
In the 1960’s, campus radicals from across the country took over the public squares at their respective institutions of higher learning to protest the Vietnam War.
They never left.
Espousing anti-American values and embracing a culture of death, these Marxists soon realized that to advance their ideology, they must indoctrinate the next generation in order to carry the torch of their hallucinogen induced vision of utopia. While at the same time, stifling views of those who think differently than they do became a cornerstone of how they defended their radical beliefs.
The university became a natural setting for these radicals. And, with the addition of tenure, they have created a safe environment for themselves. Radicalism breeds radicalism. When a majority of the tenured professors are leftists, a uniformity of opinion develops and the radicals no longer have peers on campus, they have comrades.
Finding an example of this radicalism is not difficult. The current controversy surrounding University of Colorado professor Ward Churchill’s invitation to speak at Hamilton College is a good place to start.
Churchill, in an essay written shortly after the September 11 terrorist attacks, described the victims as “little Eichmanns,” a reference to the Hitler henchmen who oversaw the extermination of European Jews during the Holocaust. Like any good radical, Churchill not only blamed America first, he also heaped praise upon the killers of 3,000 Americans, referring to the hijackers as “combat teams” that made “gallant sacrifices.”
Churchill was also quoted in the April 2004 issue of SATYA magazine as saying that he wants the United States “Out of existence all together,” and that in order to achieve this, “more 9/11’s are necessary.”
Churchill’s speaking engagement was eventually cancelled and his tenured position (go figure) may be eliminated. Of course, his comrades have been quick to defend him. Claiming that “Free Speech” infringements had taken place, the radicals, ironically, have draped themselves in the very constitution they despise.
What’s even more troubling about Churchill’s scheduled speaking engagement at Hamilton, and one that has been overlooked by the media, is that the person that invited him to speak, professor Nancy Rabinowitz, is arguably more anti-American than Churchill.
Rabinowitz extended a job offer to domestic terrorist (and last-minute Clinton pardon recipient) Susan Rosenberg. When Rosenberg was arrested and sentenced to 58 years in Federal prison for the illegal possession of dynamite and weapons, she exclaimed in classic Marxist tone, “We’re caught, but we’re not defeated. Long live the armed struggle!” Rabinowitz’s father-in-law was highly regarded Communist proponent and lawyer Victor Rabinowitz, whose firm has represented the likes of leftist favorite Fidel Castro.
Churchill’s post-9/11 rant wasn’t the only missive offered up by the Ivory Tower. A University of New Mexico professor exclaimed that, “Anyone who can blow up the Pentagon gets my vote.” While at the University of Massachusetts, a fellow traveler lectured his students that, “The American flag is a symbol of terrorism and death and fear and destruction and oppression.”
During an anti-war rally at Columbia University, professor Nicholas DeGenova compared U.S. patriotism to white supremacy and had a “wish for a million Mogadishus in Iraq.” (a reference to the Black Hawk Down incident in Somalia in which 18 U.S. troops were killed)
Not only do many tenured radicals hate the very country that allows them to make such seditious statements, they also embrace and honor a culture of death.
In August 2003, popular Villanova professor Mine Ener committed suicide while in jail. Ener was incarcerated for slashing the throat and killing her 6-month old, Down Syndrome afflicted daughter.
What was the Catholic university’s response to the tragedy? Last month, they dedicated a new section of its library to the child murderer. The “Mine Ener Memorial Study Space,” according to the university, will “commemorate Ener’s life and work.” Apparently, as long as you are popular with your students, murdering a helpless baby and killing yourself will result in your name being memorialized. At a Catholic university no less!
Campus radicalism isn’t only for the big universities. Recently, the Indian River Community College prevented a Christian student group from showing the film The Passion of the Christ, claiming that the college prohibits the showing of R-rated movies on campus.
When students protested the campus administration’s decision to ban the showing of Mel Gibson’s film, the administration reacted by demanding an apology from the dissenting students, even yanking them out of class to do so.
However, IRCC had previously allowed an R-rated documentary, Welcome to Sarajevo, to be shown on campus. The double standard doesn’t end there. The IRCC had also previously hosted a live performance entitled “F*****g for Jesus,” in which a character simulated having sex with Jesus and masturbating to His image.
Churchill, Rabinowitz, Ener, and the administration at Indian River Community College are but a scant blip on the radical radar.
There’s also former head of the Weather Underground Bernadine Dohrn, who masterminded the plot to bomb the U.S. Capitol and Pentagon, now teaching at Northwestern University.
There’s former Black Panther Angela Davis, who once graced the FBI’s most wanted list and ran as the V.P. on the Communist Party ticket, now a professor at U.C. Santa Cruz.
There’s former Florida Atlantic University professor and co-founder of the Palestinian Islamic Jihad, Sami al-Arian. Arian funneled payments to the families of suicide bombers for the terrorist group Hamas before being arrested shortly after 9/11.
There’s Tariq Ramadan, whose work visa had been revoked by the Department of Homeland Security for having used a “position of prominence within any country to endorse or espouse terrorist activity.” Ramadan was offered a tenured position at Notre Dame last year.
Unfortunately, college campuses are rife with professors that hate America and believe this country is an evil, oppressive empire. And they make a lot of money and indoctrinate millions of students in the process.

Beauty is more than Looks
Abigail Carter | Managing Editor

I remember looking in the mirror at myself when I was a kid and saying, “I hate you,“ because I never thought I was pretty enough. Thankfully, as I’ve grown I’ve learned that beauty is subjective. Maybe it’s because I’m an artist, but now I see beauty everywhere. A grotesquely obese individual may have the most attractive ears. The most beautiful eyes might belong to someone who cannot see out of them and the most lyrical voice may sound from the ugliest of throats.
Which is why I don’t understand when I hear guys complain all the chicks on campus are turning into fatasses, or hear said chicks complain that they are, themselves, fatasses. To those chicks, if you read Cosmo, Glamour, Vogue, Elle or any other, similar, lipstick and highlights magazine, PUT IT DOWN. Seriously. I stopped reading those and it’s a great thing.
The women in those magazine photos have been airbrushed, elongated, plumped--basically Photoshopped all to hell. They give women an unrealistic ideal to live up to; an ideal upheld by the guys who read Maxim, FHM, Playboy or any other men’s magazine. The women in these photos are altered to suit the graphic designers’ wants. Men, you want to see a real woman? Go look at your mother, because all young women age and will eventually remind you more of mothers than Playboy models.
It’s like getting a new kitten or puppy and then becoming disinterested in
it once it matures into a cat or dog. You can’t just keep buying new kittens. Eventually, people will stop selling them to you because you creep them out. The same goes for old men and young women. Eventually, you will just begin to creep out the young females in which you’re interested.
When I was in high school, I had a very eclectic group of friends whom my mother said reminded her of the “island of misfit toys” from the movie, “Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer.” The group consisted of a guy with wolf nails and a blond afro who dressed in chains and ragged black clothes, a large, homosexual musician mechanic, an effeminate guitar wizard who wore eyeliner and enjoyed cross-dressing, a tall, lanky, goofy “graduate” student (a senior who had to return the year after his projected spring graduation and graduate in December) who resembled an oversized David Letterman, several others who wore chains and black, and the guy who is now my husband, another loner and misfit.
I was not, and have never been, the type of female who gets her hair streaked, her nails done, or use a tanning bed. I used to say I’d like to line up those girls with perfectly coiffed and colored hair, manicured nails, expensive clothes, and false tans--teeth-bleaching kits and all--and hose ‘em down with a fire hose. They’d look like a bunch of drowned rats, just like anyone else.
Every year, “People” magazine publishes a list of the world’s 50 Most Beautiful people. Strangely enough, most of the world’s 50 come from the U.S., home of “People” magazine. Quite often, a person will appear on the list one year, but not the next. Has that person become disgusting? Most are included first when they are adults. Why? Did Brad Pitt’s looks change so drastically since he was a teenager? The answer to both questions is no. It’s all subjective to who is popular in the moment. Someone who has connections, talent, money, or all three.
Even those privledged people are not safe from fashion-critic extraordinaires. Have you ever seen so-called “fashion mavens” rip apart the style choices of those on award-show red carpets? You can never satisfy the most judgmental. They want them to be unique, but not too unique. Show off your body, but don’t be too slutty. Add a little color or flair, but also wear black and look sophisticated.
It’s all a bunch of crap. Be happy with who you are and stop striving to look like someone else. Whatever your hair/eye/skin color/height/weight/dress size-DEAL WITH IT. Exercise to be healthy and feel good, not to fit into that certain pair of really cute hot pants.
Those Hollywood freaks-who inject botchilism into their face to look lifeless and spend thousands of dollars on makeup, plastic surgery, overpriced clothes, and falsies-are paid millions of dollars to look good. Their job is to be pretty. That’s it. They don’t even have to be able to act. Heck, look at Keanu Reeves, Tara Reid, or, God help us all, Paris
Hilton.
The ugliest person you’ve ever seen may be the most beautiful person in the world to someone else. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Most of the people whom “society” deems attractive are, to me, quite ugly, due to their actions or practiced ignorance. In my life, I’ve had crushes on John Goodman, Christopher Walken, Jeff Goldblum, Beavis, Michelangelo from “The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” Conan O’Brien. And before you laugh at me for having had crushes on animated characters, remember that those cartoons have voices provided by real people. I became infatuated with personalities, not looks.
The truly beautiful don’t see how they affect others. Those with real beauty may not even recognize that they are attractive. The prideful ones are not the truly beautiful.
No matter how many faults you may find with yourself, you do have good physical traits. Even if you weigh 700 lbs., are covered in psoriasis, wall-eyed, and have a zit in every pore on your face, you may have the prettiest teeth, nicest hands, or cutest feet. Perhaps your psoriasis forms an attractive pattern on your arms.
Seriously, don’t be so concerned with what society says you should look like. If this was three thousand years ago, we’d all be sun-burnt, sweaty, smelly, dusty creatures. Every living thing has a beauty of its own. And no matter what your religion, whether you believe in an afterlife or not, when you’re dead, you’re dead, and your body ceases to be important.