FEATURES

Five Things you could have Done last week
Richard Carter | Dance Critic

If you were fortunate enough to live in Bowie, you had about 14 fun things to do last weekend. Even in Rhome, there were about nine all-right things to do, give or take a hayride and a $5 beer bust out back.
In Wichita Falls, there were exactly five cool things to do. Here they are, in no particular order. 

1) Sip coffee, tea, gin or rubbing alcohol with friends on a geometrically precise tree-lined boulevard under a Christo arrangement of Compari umbrellas. That must have been one of those six cool Henrietta things to do, because no one locally has Compari umbrellas. Actually, the real number one thing to do locally was to freshen up your iPod playlist. Then take a long walk around the downtown area, check out some live music, eat at one of the ethnically diverse restaurants and hit a resale shop or two in search of some real bargains or out-of-the-ordinary knickknacks. While this activity might be as boring on a regular basis as hitting garage sales in blighted neighborhoods, regional urban dipping is quite fun and usually somewhat educational.

2) Check out “A Woman is a Woman” DVD. Swiss New Wave director Jean-Luc Godard is a genius. Even Tarantino named his production company after one of Godard’s early films, “Bande a part.” Godard’s third film, “Une femme est une femme,” is a musical – or actually a realist anti-musical – set in the streets of Paris during the early ‘60s. Humorous and witty with loads of filmic allusions, tricky camerawork and sound settings, we watch Anna Karina (an honest-to-goodness ‘60s Danish babe) try to convince her live-in boyfriend to have a child with her. Why? Because she wants one. The film also features Jean-Paul Belmondo, the star of Godard’s classic “Breathless.”

3) Give a listen to Neko Case’s “The Tigers Have Spoken” CD. I’m not exactly sure where and when Nashville went wrong, but Neko Case seems determined to set that modern day music brothel right. Blessed with a voice that’s on the righteous side of Loretta Lynn, Case mixes the traditional prairie and the noir-ish roadhouse to rediscover what used to be good and true about country. In other words, this live CD captures the fire and the flavor of that musical form back when it used to mean something. Like, back when you were a kid and popped a quarter in the jukebox at Bar-L and played something real like John Cash or early Haggard.

4) Read Haruki Murakami’s “Kafka on the Shore.” Sure, it’s cheating to put a novel on a things-to-do list. Anyways, Murakami’s novels are inventive, cool and addictive. In other words, not reading good lit like Murakami’s might indicate that you’re well on the way to becoming a total dullard. Murakami’s 14th-or-so book spins a tale about a 13-year-old named Kafka Tamura who is running away from home and a simpleton who chats with cats. With a surreal cast of characters, time-shifts and seemingly otherworldly settings, “Kafka on the Shore” never bores its readers or allows them to become complacent.

5) Live vicariously through your friends via long distance. For example, you might
have called a friend last weekend in New York City and heard about how she thought she spotted Natalie Portman at the Yeah Yeah Yeahs show in Billyburg. Or, you might have talked with a friend in Dallas about the Space Cadet show at the Gypsy Tea Room. There’s always your friend in Rio who drank tea with chanteuse whom he thought was bossa nova singer Bebel Gilberto. Then there’s talking with your bud in Los Angeles who hung out with artist Barbara Kruger during an installation. Finally, there’s a former girlfriend in Houston who tells you how much she really misses you and wishes you could be there, like 45 minutes ago.

  The “Woman is a Woman” DVD and the Neko Case CD were loaned for review purposes by Hastings Entertainment on Southwest Parkway and Kemp. Call 696-8029.







Obnoxious Noice in Restaurants Drowns out good Conversation
Nicole Ford | Opinion Editor

I’ve always enjoyed listening to people.
I’ve found that good conversation can usually be a lot more entertaining and useful than some of the idiotic things on television these days, and it can serve a variety of purposes.
Sharing strange twists and odd events in our everyday lives usually lightens the mood with a healthy burst of laughter.
A good discussion can be used to exchange various ideas and opinions on any subject, from which sports teams are best to what to do about bad drivers to politics and religion.
Conversation can be used to gain factual information and improve understanding of anything, which is always a good thing.
Talking with friends can also serve as an inexpensive form of therapy. There’s nothing better at the end of a long, bad day than sitting down with a good friend and letting off some steam.
Listening to conversation, in all of its forms, has always fascinated me. I’m perfectly happy sitting quietly by while others chat away.
Some of the best times I remember have been hanging around with a group of friends or family, swapping bizarre stories and off-color – or just plain bad – jokes.
Very often, these times were centered around a meal, usually at some restaurant.
There was once a time when I could walk into a restaurant with a group of friends, sit down and enjoy a good conversation and all its glories with our food. Sometimes, the service would be lousy and the food would be cold, but we would still manage to have a good time.
Sadly, those times are rapidly disappearing.
The general noise in restaurants is increasing to such a level that normal conversation is nearly impossible.
What is it, I wonder, that restaurants have against their patrons talking?
Once upon a time, the music in dining establishments was barely more than a murmur – something to add to the atmosphere of the restaurant without interfering with customers’ ability to speak and listen to one another.
But now, instead of the soft background music of old, restaurants have cranked up the decibels to such an extreme that patrons nearly go deaf within minutes of walking through the front door.
Instead of being able to enjoy a smoothly flowing conversation punctuated with bursts of laughter, my friends and I are frequently interrupting our conversations with the phrases “What?” and “Huh?”
The increased volume in restaurants also has another unfortunate side effect.
While we were once able to have an entire two-hour long conversation using our “inside voices,” the increasingly unbearable noise in these places forces us to yell.
My mom used to chastise me for using that inappropriate and embarrassing “outside voice” in a restaurant.
Now, we have to holler at each other over the surrounding din to understand such simple things as “pass the salt” or “may I have the ketchup?”
At the end of the night at some establishments, we walk away with aching throats, not because we talked too much, but because we strained our vocal chords speaking too loudly.
At some of these places, we’d sooner see pigs flying than be able to have more than a one- or two-word conversation.
Sitting at a dubiously “clean” table and having my ears assailed by music of questionable quality while I eat is not my idea of a good time.
These restaurants that insist on trying to burst my eardrums are sucking all of the fun out of my outings with friends and family. It’s nearly impossible to listen with so much going on so loudly all around me.
I guess I’ll have to find a new venue in which to enjoy this favorite occupation of mine.
Or invest in a good set of earplugs.


Date from Hell Makes Student Question 'Prince Charming' tale
Jennifer Tavlian | Sports Editor

Parents fill their child’s heads with some terrific lies.  There’s the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, to name a few.
There is one myth many little girls are told that is even more cruel than the one about the fat guy in the red suit.
“Some day, your prince will come.”
So far, my prince is in hiding.  At least, I hope that’s what it is.  I sat back the other day and wondered if maybe I knew my Mr. Right. Maybe he’s one of my best friends, or perhaps he’s the guy sitting at the other end of the room in a class.
Then I cried. If my one and only is someone I know, then I’ll take loneliness.  I’m not saying I don’t love all the special people in my life, but I can’t picture myself being married to them.
I don’t think I’m asking for much.  I like a guy with a sense of humor, manners, a nice smile and morals.  I want a guy who likes sports, can read and write and put together a sentence or two, and is able to walk and chew gum at the same time.
Maybe I am asking a lot.
I know most everyone has walked away from a date thinking, “Wow! He/She is great!”
Then there’s the date I was on a couple of weeks ago, if you could even call that nightmare a date. I walked away looking for hidden cameras and Ashton Kutcher.  I never thought a guy could be that immature.
I should have been detoured by the red flags that waved furiously in front of my face when he said, at 6 p.m., that he would have to leave early because he had a busy schedule coming up the next day. I didn’t know the busy day he would have to rest up for started at noon and lasted three hours.  I also wasn’t aware that his bedtime – yes, bedtime – began around 9:30. 
I thought I was dating a college student.
We talked while we watched a movie and learned more about each other, which wasn’t necessarily a good thing.
I learned that I think too much, according to him.  He apparently, takes a liking to staring at walls on occasion.  He asked if I ever just “blank out” and do the same.  When I said no, that the hamster pretty much stayed on the wheel at all times, he accused me of thinking too much.
So lesson No. 1: If you stare at walls without the assistance of illegal substances, you’re a step ahead of those who think at all.
My date from hell then said something he misconstrued as funny and offered his hand for a high five.  Maybe it was funny and I was just over-thinking something else, like how stupid a high five is.  When a hand was not extended on my part, he high fived my chest instead.  If he had been thinking, he would have known this wasn’t a smart decision.
I grabbed his hand, bent his fingers backward and told him that if he was stupid enough to try that little stunt again, his fingers would be the least of his worries.
Lesson No. 2: Perhaps a little less wall and a few more books would teach you to not high five a girl’s chest, or high five at all.
Around 9:30, it was decided that he needed to go home and go to bed to rest up for the following day.  Poor kid.  I can’t imagine what it would be like to go to bed as late as 9:30 and wake up as early as *gasp* 9:30 the next morning. 
Did I miss something?  I truly thought I was in college, but instead of getting a date, perhaps I accidentally volunteered for a babysitting job.  My mom later asked if I had to warm up a bottle or anything before he left. 
Sad when mothers are so on point.
Lesson No. 3: Early to bed and early to rise doesn’t necessarily make a young idiot wise.
I can’t be alone in this dating downward spiral. I’ve heard horror stories from guys and girls alike.
I’ve dated my share of interesting people though. The guy who makes claymation videos of Star Wars? Yep, that was my first boyfriend in high school.
Does anyone know a guy who thought he was God’s gift to women and it turned out to be a gag gift?  Yes, I’m guilty of dating him too.
My personal favorite was the guy who had never kissed a girl, even though he was 22 years old at the time. He had no problem saying those three special little words after our first week of dating, and I had no problem telling him goodbye.
I suppose my date wasn’t totally useless. I learned three great lessons in a three-hour span.  I also learned not to date a younger “man” or believe that my prince is right around the corner.
Thanks, Fairytale Land.  I’m still waiting.