Vote for me in 2020, you won't Regret it
Paige Dickerson | News Editor

This is America, the land of opportunity, where anything is possible. So, my friend and I are reaching for the impossible.
I am writing this column to announce my candidacy for vice president of the United States with my running mate, Louie Valencia for president.
Of course we are not planning on running for this election, since the Constitution requires that the president and vice president be at least 34 years of age. So we are asking you to remember us in the 2020 election.
Yes, it is 16 years away. So why am I already campaigning? Our goal is to spread our message by word of mouth during these 16 years.
Louie has been my friend since high school and we recently got into a discussion on the political candidates for this election and our distaste for both parties. We then decided we should run to shake things up.
As for me, being the head of the Senate, I would work to be a mediator between the parties to get some productive policies established.
So, you ask, which party will we run on since Louie and I will undoubtedly vote for opposite candidates in this election. Neither. We are creating a new party entitled the NEUTRAL party (National Entity to Unify Truth, Rights and Liberties.) Neutral does not mean we do not have a stance on the issues, it simply means the members of our party will be committed to vote how their consciences command and not along any party lines. Although I have strong opinions on almost every issue, I would not expect the members of this new party to vote the same way I would.
The goal of the party is not to make yet another division in American politics. Our goal is to create a party dedicated to working with all the other parties to come up with workable solutions to the issues confronting our government.
So, why should you vote for a couple of people who don't have any experience in politics?
Well, we have plenty of background even today that will help us in this job and our future plans will give us a greater connection with the needs of the American people. I lived in Brazil as a child and have traveled extensively both at home and abroad, so my understanding of foreign and domestic affairs is greater than many people twice my age.
Louie, too, has traveled extensively and has deep insight to the public education system because his mother has been a teacher for many years.  I plan on being a journalist—one committed to truth and ethics—between now and 2020 and Louie will be a writer and an English teacher in Spain, which will also provide an opportunity to learn about the European opinion of America.
Although I could give our opinions on the current issues since we both have strong (and similar) stances on all the current issues, many of these issues will probably be irrelevant in 16 years. Many things happen and change. Both our ideas on the issues and the issues themselves are liable to change before then. But if you have any questions regarding our stance, we are both committed to giving honest and open answers when asked by our constituents.
And how do we plan on raising money for advertising? We don't. Our campaign goes like this. Everyone who hears about our campaign tells a few friends between now and 2020. By the time the year rolls around, most of the country will have heard of us. Our goal in running our campaign this way is to not owe big businesses or individual supporters when we get into office. Louie's presidency will be based solely on the desires of the American people and what we believe is best for the country.
We cannot promise that there will be no problems and that we will make America a paradise once Louie is president, but we hope to bring a long needed change to the White House that breaks the bonds of money and partisanship.
Is our plan unrealistic? Of course it is. Most political science professors will tell you it is impossible to get elected without spending millions on advertising. They will even tell you that it is hard to get elected without negative campaigning. But this is America, the land of opportunity, and Louie and I were both brought up believing anything is possible, so don't forget to vote Valencia and Dickerson in 2020—even if you have to write us in!
Questions? Comments? Got a good campaign slogan? E-mail me at paige.dickerson.0907@wichita.mwsu.edu.



Warning: Not to be read by the Tender-Hearted
Jason Palmer | Staff Reporter

I sure hope that PETA doesn’t get a hold of this one.
In my feature writing class on Tuesday, an incredibly random story sent my brain racing on a trip down memory lane.
The story was about chemically freeze-drying pets that have died, and keeping their bodies around the house like they were still there.
Nausea ensued.
The lead of the story centered on a particular dog that was hit by a car and killed.
That is where my sick and twisted brain kicked in and a tasteless joke mindlessly slipped from my lips to my friend sitting next to me.
“So this guy runs over this dog in front of someone’s house. He knocks on the door and tells the lady who answers ‘I think I just killed your dog.’
“What did he look like,” she asked.
And the joke-teller makes the terrified face of the dog with his paws in the air just before he gets hit by the car.
Terrible, I know. Definitely tasteless, not to mention cruel and probably illegal in some states.
But it got me thinking about the handful of times that I have been driving along and struck and killed an animal.
All of which were witnessed by girls.
This would be the time for the faint of heart to stop reading my column.
Just last week, while driving down Harrison on my way to my apartment, I noticed two kids standing in their front yard, watching squirrels on the median.
Sure enough, as if some pre-programmed button was pushed, one of those cute little squirrels just had to run in front of my truck, as those girls watched.
It never stood a chance.
I never even put my foot on the brake. There was no time.
Peering in my rear-view mirror, I saw the squirrel rolling down the street like a football.
Through experience (how sad is that) I didn’t even consider looking to see if those little girls saw it.
I knew.
I’m sure of that fact from an equally terrible experience several years ago. I kinda laugh telling the story, because I don’t know what else to feel. But trust me…it’s not funny.
A Labor Day weekend, my dad and I were on the way to the grocery store to buy some steaks for some guy bonding time.
Driving through my neighborhood, I see a little girl holding a cat on the side of the road.
(Here’s your second chance to stop reading…it only gets worse from here)
Yeah, you guessed it, as I drove within 10 feet of the seven-year¬–old, that dumb cat jumped right out of her arms and ran full speed into the path of my rear wheel.
I didn’t have time to hit the brakes before the sickening bump. Again, nausea ensued.
As I came to a stop, I could already hear the screams of the little girl. I put the truck in reverse, and my dad reminded me…
“Don’t back up too far, you’ll hit it again.”
I’ll spare the general public the details from the rest of the night and for those who have heard the rest of the story already, I’m sorry.
And for those that want to hear the rest, I’ll tell you.
To anyone that has ever witnessed their loved pet hit by a car, you have my condolences.
Just please refrain from scraping them off the street and freeze-drying them. That’s grosser than gross.



Letters to the Editor
Thanks to Mentor

In regard to your article about me in the September 29 issue of the Wichitan called “Never Too Old, “ I want to state that the MSU alumni mentioned in the article is Ra’Chael Watson Moreno.  She lives here and I was fortunate that she was visiting in the Jacksboro area on that day when we met.  She is the one who inspired me and encouraged me to attend college.  She has been my mentor and supporter during the whole of my college career.  She encouraged me to consider dorm life - she knew people who had come back for further education and chose to love in the dorm.  She shared her experiences with college and studying with me, always assuring me that I could do the higher math and the painstaking sorting of rocks that was required in geology.  She kept my faith alive and helped me grow as a person.  She gave generously of her time, attention, and energy so that I could have a positive college experience and I am so grateful to have received the gift of her friendship.  I shall always value her in my life.

Sharon Devereaux
Senior
Special Education