Performances Lacking in 'Cellular'
Jason Kimbro | Staff Reporter

About a year and a half ago, director Joel Schumacher, the king of hit or miss cinema, brought us the somewhat taut, yet fairly mediocre “Phone Booth.”  Fortunately for me, I wasn’t doing these little movie reviews for The Wichitan, for a mediocre suspense flick is quite a challenge to write about.
Unfortunately for moi, director David R. Ellis (“Final Destination 2”) and producer Dean Devlin, Roland Emmerich’s right-hand man, have come together to bring us another mediocre suspense film with a very similar premise to “Phone Booth.”
“Cellular” takes us on a journey from beach to school, to airport, back to the beach again, all the while listening to a very peculiar cell phone conversation.  There are joys here to be found, but there are also a few dull moments to play some cell phone games such as Breakout, Bowling, Slots, Rayman, and..  umm, anyways…
Here’s the gist:
Jessica Martin, played somewhat over-handedly by the alluring Kim Basinger, is at home with her housekeeper, either helping her with some chores or perhaps taunting her level on the class continuum. 
Suddenly, the back door shatters and some malicious-looking guys bust in, shoot the housekeeper and grab Jessica.
They take her to an undisclosed location and lock her in a room with a telephone.  The main “bad guy” (Jason Statham of “Snatch” and “The Transporter”) smashes the phone in a fit of rage and rampages out of the room.
Jessica pieces the phone back together, but is not unable to simply press buttons to dial a specific number. Rather, she must tap wires together, not knowing the number she is dialing.
Cut to the hero, Ryan (Chris Evans from “Saved!” and “The Perfect Score”), who is out doing his normal thing, slacking around, being your average misfit of an unlikely hero.
Ryan is an irresponsible goof, or so would say his ex-girlfriend Chloe (played by Jessica Biel in an uncredited role).  In the middle of running an errand for Chloe, Ryan receives the call most men are waiting for:  a beautiful, desolate woman in desperate need of him.
Well, it sounds good in that manner, but I am sure you have all put the pieces together and figured out what the gist of this movie really is.  If not, then you don’t need to be here at MSU.  I heard Angelo State is looking for a few good chumps.
Anyways, after some convincing, he decides to help.  Ryan undergoes a few mishaps with security guards, a yuppie lawyer (who basically steals the movie), some crooked cops, and probably the best character in the film, a true-blue veteran cop who is as honorable as apple pie to the taste buds on Thanksgiving, played fairly well by William H. Macy of “Fargo” fame. 
And that is about it, without, of course, the spilling of too many spoilers.  As predictable as these movies go, on the other hand, I could probably tell you the ending and you wouldn’t be surprised.  Unless, well, here, have a banana.
There is stuff here to entertain the masses.  A couple of scenes actually made at least one gal in the theater yelp like a Chihuahua.  Ashley, my girlfriend, even jumped a time or two.
The performances were fairly on for some and off for others.  Basinger is pretty good at crying and screaming, but sucks elephant sweat when it comes to anything else.  Macy does an excellent job, and Evans gives an average routine.
The atmospherics were decent.  I was digging air for any hint of suspense, but everybody else seemed to be riveted.
The story was a bit thin.  There needed to be more meat where the potatoes were served.  Though I am a big advocate for the suspension of disbelief, there was a bucketful of implausible acts that helped the story along a little too conveniently.
And that about does it.  Another week, another movie torn apart, though this one wasn’t necessarily decimated.  Maybe crumpled a little bit, smoothed back out, and then crumpled some more.  Yeah,  that’s the ticket.
This was the first movie my girlfriend and I watched together as a couple. And though this wasn’t exactly a horrid flick like “Paparazzi,” a film buff like myself would prefer that the ticket stub for the memory books would have been something like “Garden State.”

Report Card:
Story/Plot:                   D
Performances:            C
Artistic Style:               B
Entertainment Value:  B
Overall                        GPA:2.25


Dogville: Citizens behave in Beastly Way on new DVD
Richard Carter | For the Wichitan

“Dogville” could very well be the darkest film you’ll ever rent in a nicely sanitized corporate video stores.
Danish filmmaker Lars von Trier delivers viewers into a deceptively peaceful and simple Depression era town named Dogville. Over the next three hours, he
takes viewers through a dramatic and intellectually terrifying unmasking of its residents when faced with the presence of an innocent stranger.
Starring Nicole Kidman and James Caan, “Dogville” was released on DVD last week, after not receiving a theater showing in Fallztown.
Divided into nine parts with a prologue, the movie is narrated (with occasionally whimsical and often scathing commentary) by John Hurt. This narrative artifice is extended by an unscenic "stage" that consists of a black floor, with tape to mark off and also name houses and streets. Simple white walls bound
the minimalist stage.
The effect is to emphasize the characters, their acute interactions and the well-written dialogue.
The story opens with a well-dressed woman named Grace (Kidman) stumbling into a poor mountaintop community of less than 20 people. She meets the town’s aspiring writer, Tom Edison Jr. (Paul Bettany), who never actually puts pen to paper but seems to want to function as the town's do-gooder.
Grace is running from a mobster named Big Man (Caan), and begs the community to hide her. With Tom interceding, the suspicious townspeople give her two weeks to fit in. The almost angelic Grace begs them to let her work for them. At first they shun her, and only later do they reluctantly agree.
Everything is going well in the town, until the law starts looking for her. Realizing her tenuous circumstances, the townspeople slowly up the ante for
their silence. They force Grace to literally become their slave. As time passes, she's mentally and physically abused and chained to a metal wheel.
An excellent ensemble cast including Lauren Bacall, Stellan Skarsgard, Patricia Clarkson and Ben Gazarra play the townspeople.
The director employs primarily close-up shots of his actors (all weather-beaten characters except Grace) that emphasize the townspeople's hate as well as distrust of the outside world.
Grace is purposefully set apart as the good outsider who endures awfulness partially out of fear and partially out of "stoicism." The aspiring philosopher, Tom, is set somewhere between the townspeople and Grace.
The heart of "Dogville" is the intimate camerawork, subtle jump cuts and the editing; the ideas put forth in the dialogue and the ending.
Kidman divinely exudes inner strength, empathy and suffering. The camerawork brings the characters to life, and the film's ideas (and many individual aspects of the story) will stay with audiences.
   There is a simplicity to “Dogville” and its message that belies how acutely far-reaching it is in terms of cultural criticism and its conceptions of the idea of grace.
Almost every week, nowadays, some new movie portrays the near end of the earth and/or all sorts of threatening evil. “Dogville” cuts through these
ludicrously comic action adventure conceits.
The film brilliantly isolates and illuminates cultural, religious and economic fundamentalisms that have come to appear natural.



Downtown Concert will rock the streets of Wichita Falls
Managing Editor | Abigail Carter

Ten bands of varied influence will rock out Saturday, Sept. 18, in the streets of Wichita Falls.
As part of their revitalization project, Downtown
Wichita Falls Development’s 2nd annual “Why Don’t We
Do It in the Road” outdoor concert, hosted by the Iron
Horse Pub, will take place in the Faith Village parking lot.
Taking the stage throughout the night will be: Rick Derringer (“Rock and Roll Hoochie Koo”), North Carolina originals Cast Iron Filter, local giants Bigloo, the fifties-themed Daddy-O, Shaved Fish, Johnny Cooper, local guitarist Cody Shaw, and Tiffany Shea, an “unbelievable chick rocker from Dallas,” according to Chrissy Lawrence, the process manager for the Iron Horse Pub.
The gates to the fenced-in lot will open at 4 p.m. and the music kicks off at 5 p.m. Tickets cost $12 for general admission, $10 for MSU students, and are available through the Iron Horse Pub and McCarty Music.
The streets edging the venue will be closed to traffic for the duration of the show, which should last until midnight, and vendors will be set-up inside selling such tasty eats as burgers, hot dogs and BBQ.
For a little flair, take the time to check out Red River Harley Davidson’s and Ghost Motorcycle’s set-ups.  Both businesses will have clothing and accessories for sale.
Last year was the first time this event was held and even with torrential rains, the seven-band show brought in around 650 people. 
“This year we are hoping to have a lot more people,” said Lawrence.
All proceeds made from the concert will go to pay for the bands and to aid in the downtown revitalization efforts.

Eric O'  Shea tickles funny bones at MSU
Tawana Provost | Staff Reporter

Comedian Eric O’Shea poked fun at an MSU student at his performance Wednesday in Sunwatcher Plaza.
The “back row” students were the infamous hecklers until O’Shea came to the rescue. O’Shea began a joke by asking the guys “Where are all the women at?”
The hecklers began making an obnoxious laugh when O’Shea made fun of the sound of the laughing, one student responded with hostility.
O’Shea responded with “If his wee-wee was as big as his mouth he would’ve had a date tonight.”
The student then yelled something back about O’Shea’s mother as some students around him were egging him on while others where trying to calm him down.
O’Shea then made fun of himself to show that everything was in good fun.
O’Shea’s act was not entirely offensive, to the expressed heckling of some students, but comprised of familiar topics like having a psycho mom, when spell checking his name the computer’s suggestion is “horsehair,” and how lazy kids have backpacks with wheels.  He acted out many scenes including the discomfort of posing for a year book picture and imitating Sesame Street’s Elmo.
To end his show, O’Shea with the accompaniment of music, portrayed the night of an average guy who goes out on the weekend in hope of “scoring,” but strikes out instead. The guy’s final solution at the end of the night brought the MSU crowd to its knees when the song “I Touch Myself” by the Divinals came over the speakers.
About 300 students attended the show, despite heckling many enjoyed most of the jokes.
“This was funny,” said freshman Catherine Wood. “The part about the pubes being like parsley, it was gross but it was funny.”