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Sex
can be hard sell in Wichita Falls
The first sign of summer in Wichita Falls is when Christie’s Toybox displays its “Sexy Swimwear!” sign above the dental floss hanging in the window. It’s a kinky Groundhog Day that even Skip McBride can’t argue with. Christie has a nose for weather like you wouldn’t believe. It’s been at least seven years since the Toybox moved in next door to Golden Chick and started giving tender lovers a reason to stick around a little longer. It’s a big block of concrete sex staring at Southwest Parkway and tempting the curiosity of priests and pre-pubescents alike. Don’t lie, you’re curious too. It’s even more of a mystery to people like myself who were relatively young when we witnessed its establishment. Sure, Wichita had Maximus back then, but the idea of a sex shop with the letters “XXX” in bold red letters on the side of the building visible to every grandma on her way to order a family pack of chicken was a wonderment to the populous. Remember the television jingles? “Christie’s Toybox, where the fun begins!” I wanted to have fun too, but they probably wouldn’t let me in. Now instead of a mystery, it’s become a local icon associated with the sexualization of a seemingly squeaky clean town. Who knew we had an underworld? Oh yeah, this town is depraved. Behind the Bible Belt curtain is a world of closet perverts and panty sniffers that don’t really care if they are spending money on porn instead of a balanced meal. There’s nothing wrong with that though; it’s the American way to be as depraved as you want to be (as long as she’s legal). Not far out of the city limits on 287 is DW’s Adult Video and The Outlet, both of which offer truckers the emotional support needed after hours alone in a big-rig talking to large, hairy men on a radio. At least you have relative anonymity there, unless your pastor makes routine porn raids at those businesses. There was a stink when Victoria’s Secret opened in the mall because women could be seen buying underwear (gasp!) in public! Shame on them and the old men watching. Customers at Christie’s have the same problem, being that anyone can drive by and see you walking out with a little sumpin’ sumpin’ in your shopping bag that isn’t banana pudding. In New York City, no one would give a rat’s ass, but in Wichita Falls you’re a pervert. Now it’s adventure time. After pondering these issues for a while, I decided it was time to shut up and find out for myself what the experience of going into Christie’s Toybox is like. My 15-year-old subconscious is thanking me and my eyes are cursing me, but it’s no longer a real mystery. I know very well what’s probably in there, but the idea of exploring this citywide taboo is intriguing. Upon leaving the store, my first thoughts were spent pondering how many times The Wichitan would let me use the word “penis” in my column. I’ve never seen so many in one place at one time. It was the sex ed video with Scott Baio all over again, but the uterus cross section diagram has been replaced with something much more vivid. There was, ahem, reading material for the intellectuals and, um, board games for the young at heart. The pens were in an interesting shape and so were the two brands of novelty pasta. There was a wide selection of VHS and DVD movies for anyone interested, and there were two walls devoted to large quantities of curiously shaped plastic in varying colors and size. Can you say battery powered? You get the idea. There was a constant fear that someone I know would come in and make eye contact with me, but I was also secretly hoping that an MSU professor would come in and make a dash for the whips and handcuffs. That’s front page of The Wichitan for you. Best of all is the “bye, pervert” look you get from the cashier when you leave. Actually, she smiled and said, “Have a nice evening,” but I can see right through that. The relief I had when walking out proves how intense sexual taboos still are in this town. I envied the man with the stained shirt browsing through the magazines; I think he’ll go home happy and guilt free. Terrell, a junior English major, hails from Wichita Falls, Texas.
Try
a fruit basket to ease Saddam’s anger
I have so much to say in such a little space. Hopefully I can fit it all in. What’s the deal with this war? Reading the newspaper headlines these days, (because that’s all I can stomach) is about like watching a soap opera. Here is pretty much how the headlines read: Bush calls Saddam a mean butthole; Saddam says U.S. will pay; Bush calls Saddam a rerun of a bad movie; Saddam says he has no weapons but still America will die if they attack. What is going on here? Does this sound like world politics, or a scuffle during second grade recess? It all seems like a bunch of name-calling and foolishness to me. These stories seem like they belong in the comic section. When are the adults of the world going to grow up. I think I’m beginning to understand this stall tactic that Bush is using. If you didn’t know, the life expectancy in Iraq is 67 years. Saddam Hussein is nearly 66. If we can stretch this out for a couple more years, he’ll eventually kick the bucket. Unless, of course, he’s immortal like Fidel Castro whom I think turns 170 this year. After many centuries of human life, why haven’t we evolved into a friendlier, pacifistic people? When are nuts going to realize that blowing people up will not resolve anything but instead incite more anger? Why can’t conflicts on a large scale be resolved like they are on a small scale. For instance, giving someone who is angry with you a fruit basket or flowers, perhaps an “I’m sorry” card. Dear President Bush, I’m sorry for building weapons of mass destruction. I will stop now. I hope you enjoy the fruit. Your pal, Saddam Dear President Hussein, I’m sorry for calling you all those mean names. I will stop now. Don’t choke on any of the pretzels. Your buddy, Dubya On a more local note, I hope the Real Food on Campus campaign includes chicken patties because if it doesn’t, I’d rather go back to that fake food on campus. Why is it so important that our food is freshly-made right in front of us? My whole life, all I’ve ever eaten was leftovers and that hasn’t killed me yet. What’s the deal with all these cars on campus? Does anyone ever leave? Some of you lazy bums need to get jobs or something because I know you’re not studying. Of course, I never leave campus, but everyone should expect that because I’m a nerd. I’m not even important enough to own a cell phone. But the rest of you ‘supposed’ cool people need to go out and do something so I can find a parking spot. Finally, if you are the person who was zooming down Taft last Tuesday morning, while I was crossing the street, I expect an apology letter in next week’s paper…and a new pair of underwear. Rushin, a senior mass communication and computer science major, hails from Paducah, Texas.
Phil
Pennington
Attending
Student,
Second-hand problem Smoking is one of the most preventable causes of death in America today. Each year about 53,000 non-smoking Americans die from second-hand smoke. Whoever said that smoking was a choice obviously didn’t read this statistic. Smokers gather outside of buildings to smoke, which is fine. Most people would rather have them outside than inside anyway. However, the problem is that they stand right by the entrance of buildings as though they are all part of some secret society out to get those who do not light up. As a result, people who don’t smoke have to trudge through the nicotine fog in order to get inside the building. This problem is everywhere, especially at MSU. Smokers have neglected the fact the Student Government Association has passed a resolution requesting they stay away from the doors. Unfortunately, the SGA cannot enforce this guideline alone. Though it is mostly understood that people have the right to smoke, it is often overlooked that non-smokers have the right to breathe fresh air. Smokers choose to smell like a dirty ashtray. Non-smokers have this stench forced upon them. Smokers should be more considerate. If someone wants to smoke he or she should make it a point to smoke away from the non-smoking population. If a smoker is in the company of a non-smoker they should ask the non-smoker if cigarette smoke would bother him or her. No one has ever ordered a side of cigarette smoke with a steak. Therefore, smokers should never smoke in a restaurant where other people are trying to enjoy their meal. Show some respect; go outside away from the entrance. Smoking is more than an inconvenience to those of us who don’t smoke. It’s taking our breath away. Written by senior mass communication major Lacee Ernst.
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